It's a New Year! Are you ready to let the freak out in you?!?!

Happy New Year, everyone! Did you make a New Year resolution about your relationship or sex life? Did you give your boo a hug, kiss or some other form of affection showing your appreciation?In relationships, we have a tendency to get real comfortable and lose our appreciation for our significant other. Many clients that I have coached/counseled tell me that they are scared to open up or show how much their girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. means to them and they are afraid of rejection or "putting myself out there".


Well, here are some basic truths that will start you on your way of being a freak for your homie/lover/friend/spouse (you get the point).....

Ladies, it is hard for a man to keep it hard if you place monetary or materialist value on your relationship. 1. Yes, placing value on the relationship is important, but it is what you place value in is what is more important. You will lose out on a good man if you please too much value on how much he spends on you. 2. Men are raised to be providers, but life comes with no instructions. And unless you birth that man, than most likely he had a life before you. If he has other responsibilities, like taking care of his kids, paying his bills on time then let him do it. Don't put any more pressure on him to take care of you. Be supportive, and don't go just looking for support. Funny how in relationships, a woman feels like she has to be so strong that she ends up losing her homie/lover/friend because he/she feels like they are not needed. There is a certain vunerability you must be able to offer if you want to open up sexually to your partner.

Gentlemen, here is a clue. Respect=>comfort zone=>good sex=>great sex. A woman wants to be respected in the bed and not just out of the bed. That means her insecurities about her body or even sexual performance can lead her to be really stiff or uncomfortable in bed. Most men are visually aroused although talking dirty doesn't hurt,either. Confidence is an sexy attitude. To assist in your woman gaining her confidence, a little praise from you will go a long way with her. 1. Give compliments. Tell her what you like most about her body. Don't be so manly that you can't be a gentleman. 2.Tell her what turns you on & off. Men and women speak two different languages when it comes to sex. Take the guessing game out of it. Tell her what you like so every time will be a great time.3. Respect her boundaries. Either of you should feel like the other one is trying to please or should feel like the have no choice. Like the soulful Raheem DeVaughn so seductively concludes "The ultimate pleasure is in giving pleasure". I would suggest to make her feel good about making you feel good. You shouldn't feel like you are pressuring her and she shouldn't feel pressured. Talk, listen, comprise, enjoy......

These are tips, not the end all, be all. But you wouldn't be reading this if you weren't interested in letting the freak out in you........

Peace & Love

Neek, the Love Coach

Winter Maintenance

Let me tell you, I am a little rough around the edges sometimes, awkward at first but when I warm up so do you! My first and second shows have aired and you can still listen to it on http://www.digitalgrime.com/. Sign up and Listen!

>>>>>>>>>>Now let's talk >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Are you ready for Christmas? Do you have something special planned for your significant other, your boo for Christmas? Well, what about after? Sometimes we put a lot of planning in big occassions but it is the little things that we do for our significant others that keep the "fire" in the relationship.

Well, I have 2 words that will help you remind your boo who is on his team...................WINTER MAINTENANCE! Ladies, here is a clue. Men learn what women like by LISTENING to other men whose female companion told him what she wanted....... You don't see a man picking up a Essence magazine to read an article about "How to turn her on".....

So in order for your boo to know what you want and to keep the winter warm then:

(1) Stop with the silent treatment. Tell him what you like and where you want the relationship to go (no matter how long you have been together). Now for those of you still in the early part of your interaction (relationship)..... yes, it requires a degree of self-esteem and confidence, but would you want to be in a relationship that leaves you constantly wondering where you stand? Uncertainty leads to insecurities. It's the time of Michelle Obama! It's sexy to be strong. So, what's your M.O?
(2) Stop playing games. If you are ready for a sexual relationship, or take the next step in your sexual relationship, then make your move! What's the 1st 5? When is it too early to give/receive head? Is it ever too early? I kid, I kid. But really, most women know within the first five minutes if the man that just met has ANY chance of getting her most intimate treasure! Ladies, please pay attention: If you do not want that man, then be clear! Help a sista out, don't make it harder for the next chick!
(3) Now it is also easy for woman to remember the mani, pedi, wax, pluck, etc., but often neglect the presentation. This is especially for those again new in your relationship, I don't know if any man that wants to see that the last man saw.Some things can't be helped, duh! Either of you are virgins...BUT a sexy new panty drawer is an extra incentive to make any sex life better! Guys are visual. Xbox, anyone?!? Girls want to look sexy soooooo find some styles that make your body look great and turns him on! Sexy is a state of mind! Guys find confidence sexy. Don't believe me, ask your dude or pick up the next King or Maxim.
(4) Finally, KNOW YOUR WORTH! .....and his. Don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with,but don't be afraid to build trust. Yeah, how do you show your significant other (S.O) you appreciate them? Do you send a sexy text message, email? However you do it, just do it. Because if you don't know your S.O's worth, you best believe someone else may.

Sex, relationships & the love in between.....

Neek, the Love Coach

Article copyright 2009. Neek, the Love Coach. All rights reserved.