Boo-loving on a Budget

I usually tell people money pays the bills but shouldn't tell you the value of your relationship. It's a recession and and dealing with those unplanned interruptions that can somehow mess up the day for couples and cause additional drama in the intimacy department...


I wanted to go a little further with what has been talked about, sung about, rapped about in songs for everything materialistic we strive for, it begins with that.....that paper, dough, guap...aka money...Getting into a relationship, everybody has their list. You know, the list of what they want in a spouse, mate, partner, lover, etc. and money is in the top 2 or top 3 for most people....Idealistic or realistic, everybody wants somebody with dough or better yet, financial stability, especially in these hard economic times.

So what happens, when the money dries up? Most men would agree that from a woman, if his money dries up then so does her sex. Ladies, especially, although men are not excluded....you are WRONG for placing monetarily value on your relationship! I read an article earlier this year on how a dude has to spend that money to make this chick (the author) happy. I say that is why she is more likely not in a relationship. If you think about it, for a person to place an value on their relationship on how much money is coming in is probably a part of the reason the world is an a global recession. People have bankrupt their relationships, self worth and dignity for that dollar. They have place unrealistic expectations on their significant other to "take care" of them and not willing to do their part. And giving "head" or as Ricky Ross and Trina so tastefully put it "getting face" (i.e. oral sex) is NOT doing your part! If you think that is doing your part, email me asap, I have a personal PSA for you.

For those of you that are working in your relationship and seeking to make it in these tough times, don't be discourage. You can Boo-love on a budget! For those of you who don't know, to "boo-love" is to show affection to your significant other. Here are some of my tips to help you spend quality time together without spending alot of money:

• Use the high school budget. Remember when you were saving to go to a dance, Homecoming, etc. You were trying to "get fly", "be sharp"...in other words - look damn good, but you knew your money had to stretch. Well, apply the same thinking to your situation now....
  

• Gas is expensive; learn to take walks, or even the bus.
  
• Shop at a discount store. I know there is a Dollar Store, Dollar Tree, Five Below in your area.......Giving your honey the spa treatment does not mean you have to spend spa money. Scent bath salts, candles and some great secented and sometimes hypoallergenic lotion.....Give her a bath and massage her and plan a late night with a little help from a 5 hour energy (no crash) and see how she shows you her appreciation.
  
• Movie Night? Blockbuster killing you with late fees.....then hit up (that means "shop at") a Red Box.......A dollar to rent a movie...can't beat that price! Period.
  
• Give each other your undivided attention for 1 hour. it's free and it's priceless. You obviously have an computer. Go to Imeem. Listen to music that you listened to when you were growing up. Share your stories lovingly. You may discover more about your partner than you already know!
• Go Bowling!
• Go Skating!
• Go to a pool hall....go shoot some pool. Play chess. Or learn a new game. Cards, anyone?!? Spades, Poker, UNO.....what eva you like......
• Ohhh....how can I forget to mention......If you like gaming (i.e. XBox 360, PS3, PC), then let your boo, play, teach them how.....spend a little quality time and have a ball!!
  
• Be Creative! These are some suggestions listed. I am sure there are other ways you can boo-love on a budget.
• Be spontaneous! Definitely know what you can spend/plan your spending....but don't be afraid to do something unplanned......ever just stay up late, just to be with each other...
  
• Be lovingly honest. Don't be scare to talk about how you see your financial future as an individual and as a couple/family/team/unit. Talk about what you can do to reach your goals.Don't delay, develop a plan and put that plan into action. Stop waiting for someone's permission to be financially stable.

Honestly, most couple's therapists and financial advisers recommend couples understanding each other's financial commitments before committing legally (i.e marriage). It is hard to maintain relationships if you can not understand each other's spending or saving habits. And alot of divorces do occur because couples can not agree financially on the goals that they want set and accomplish. It is trusting each other to provide for the stability of your marriage, family and future. This is beyond the emotion of love. This is the act of being loving.

It's challenging, but you can .....Boo-love on a budget.


Neek, the Love Coach
Sex, Relationships & the Love in Between....
2009. all rights reserved. Neek, the Love Coach